Family Tribute read by Brother Kevin from the Hillfield Friary

Liz’s last journey began in early December 2007, when she had a persistent cough that would not go away. The doctor and the hospital carried out tests which indicated that she had massive blood clots in her lungs and that she had suffered a small stroke. Further tests indicated that she had advanced bowel cancer.

Dick who was informed at 5.30pm on Christmas Eve had to inform the boys over the Christmas period, but Liz was only told by the consultant that she had inoperable cancer in the middle of January.

As always Liz took the news in her stride, not really believing that she had cancer. However, having seen her mother-in-law die from cancer, she was very aware of the journey she was about to undertake, the enormous mountain she had to climb, with no guarantee and only a slim chance of success. She was also aware that if she managed to get into remission it would probably only be short-lived.

Liz made the decision that she would take it day by day, and that she was between a rock and a hard place. She could either give in with the certainty of dying an unpleasant death relatively quickly, or she could try to fight it with chemotherapy. Surgery was never an option.

She chose to fight it, because she wanted to see her grandson Leon start school in September, to be at her new granddaughters first birthday in November, and to be at Julian’s Wedding in November. People often commented to her that she was really brave, but she didn’t see it that way. She always said that she had no option, and that if she didn’t have the treatment it was the end.

Liz had 23 weeks of almost constant chemotherapy, throughout which she never once complained, only took 4 paracetomol tablets for pain relief, and too our knowledge only cried once briefly.

Throughout her journey she always deflected questions about how she was, turning the question on its head and asking ‘how are you’. She was always concerned about others, which is symptomatic of her life. She was a very quiet, family orientated, and caring person, which was confirmed by the 14 years she spent working in a difficult environment for Dorset Drug & Alcohol Advisory Service trying to help people less fortunate than herself.

During her illness she often apologised for being a whimp, because she was unable to do much around the house or in the garden, and that how fortunate she was compared with many other people who were far worse off.

Of course she was very frightened, but was never hysterical or openly angry about her situation. She was stoical right up until the end.

Liz never gave up fighting for herself or the family. It was only when the chemotherapy department said she was too frail to continue with the third course of treatment, and that she needed a week or two without chemotherapy to regain her strength, that she chose to opt out. She finally succumbed to the toxic effects of 23 weeks of chemotherapy treatment rather than the cancer itself.

Fortunately for Liz and the family she was never told by her consultant that it was all over, and that there was nothing further the hospital could do.

Liz wanted to donate her organs but unfortunately due to the chemotherapy virtually eliminating her immune system even her corneas could not be used. The donor service was very sad as they get so few donors in the first place.

Liz was an ‘educated and determined’ lady who liked the finer things in life (which she got most of the time!), but she was a very private person and was happy pulling the strings from behind the scenes!

It is amazing how she coped with the last nine months of treatment considering she was terrified of needles and blood! Her treatment involved huge numbers of injections and blood samples.

Her interests which included Food & Wine, Gardening, Travel, Music & Opera, Reading, Entertaining, and Historic Houses and Gardens as well as the Family were all shared by Dick who has lost not only a wife, but also a lover and very good friend.

Liz had been happily married to Dick for 14,100 days and would have celebrated 39 years of marriage next February.

She will be sadly missed by the family and all who came into contact with her.